It’s So Damn Hot

The heat has become stifling, unbearable and quite frankly, mean. NEPA has all but disappeared, so it makes matters all the more worse… I was listening to my ipod when I was reminded of a song written by my dear friend Natalie Fine Shapiro. It has become my mantra, my slogan for the weather here.

It’s so damn hot,
When will the temperature drop?
Where oh where’s the Minnesota cold to cool us all off.
If it were snowing right now I’d run out side and roll around,
But since it’s not,
Take the sheets out of the freezer,
And cool me down.

My body’s dripping with sweat,
My dress is soaked and stuck to my skin.
Will you please carry me to the nearest swimming pool and drop me in.
Below the water’s so wet,
I don’t think I’ll ever surface again.
Feel free to leave me, but if you need me,
I’ll be waiting in the deep end.

It’s so damn hot,
When will the temperature drop?
Where oh where’s the Minnesota cold to cool us all off.
If it were snowing right now I’d run out side and roll around,
But since it’s not,
Take the sheets out of the freezer,
And lay me down.

The sun is frying my brain,
My consciousness is starting to fade.
You people running around the lake have completely gone insane.
I’m gonna go find me some shade,
Drop to my knees and start praying for rain.
And if my prayers are ignored
I guess I’ll keep complaining.

It’s so damn hot,
When will the temperature drop?
Where oh where’s the Minnesota cold to cool us all off.
If it were snowing right now I’d run out side and roll around,
But since it’s not,
Take the sheets out of the freezer,
And lay me down.

I can’t breathe through all this humidity.
I can’t believe it’s only 97 degrees.
I think I need a drink before I faint baby please??
Fetch me a cold glass of Minute Made Lemonade,
Vitamin C guaranteed.

It’s so damn hot,
When will the temperature drop?
Where oh where’s the Minnesota cold to cool us all off.
If it were snowing right now I’d run out side and roll around,
But since it’s not,
Take the sheets out of the freezer,
And cool me down.

-Natalie Fine

Let me see if I can somehow describe how hot it is. By 7 am I am awake, and hoping that the heat will decide to stay away for the day. By 8 am I already have thin coating of sweat across my body. By 9 am I have put my second layer of deodorant on. By 2 pm, I have collapsed on my bed and started praying for NEPA to turn on the fan. By 3:30 pm any thoughts of leaving, therefore moving, have been abandoned for a better idea: lying around. By about 6:30 pm it starts to cool down and I can breathe again. By 8:30 pm I have taken my cold shower, am lying on my bed in my shorts and bra and hoping that the night stays cool, and grants me a peaceful slumber.

Can anyone tell me how hot it actually is? I am so curious… It would be hilarious if it was like 70 degrees.